


Please Don't Ask Me

by covacola



Series: PSRT Songfics [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Depressed Noctis Lucis Caelum, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Noctis Lucis Caelum, Implied Relationships, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Songfic, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:22:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23559796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/covacola/pseuds/covacola
Summary: "Please don't ask me why I'm so in love with you"inspired by the song by John Farnham.
Relationships: Gladiolus Amicitia/Prompto Argentum/Noctis Lucis Caelum/Ignis Scientia
Series: PSRT Songfics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2146671
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	Please Don't Ask Me

**Author's Note:**

> haha I have a thing for sad polyship roadtrip I guess aha....
> 
> [Please give the song a listen!!](https://youtu.be/6nRHt6VXjaU)

_Please don't ask me what am I thinking, it's about you_

"Noct?" 

He started visibly, then cursed himself within. Spinning, sheepish grin he knew would set the asker at ease already in place, he looked into Ignis's soft eyes. He tried not to melt, to push away the thoughts he'd had only moments before. Dreams, memories, fond longing of times long past when Iggy would still brush his hands through Noct's hair. 

"Are you quite alright?" Iggy asked, a concerned expression painting his tone, like watercolor gently seeping into paper. 

_And please don't ask me, I never can see you._

_What can I do?_

Things had been hard. Okay, they'd always been hard. But quite frankly, with all going to shit, he wasn't entirely sure why Prompto didn't just throw his hands up and dip. Noct sometimes held a secret hope he would. And yet, as Prom's tone shifted in the moonlight, feet kicked out over the rooftop, stars staring like hundreds of judgemental eyes seeming to pierce him like pin pricks, he found himself holding his breath, begging for anything but the blonde to admit this all had become too much for him. 

_My first impulse is to run to your side_

It was obvious. Gladio was his Shield. When Gladio barked an order-- to run, to stop, to duck, to jump-- Noct didn't question it. And there was more. Far more. Far more he knew Gladio knew. Far more he knew neither of them would acknowledge. That when he was scared or anxious or overwhelmed with a panic attack, his instincts always told him to go to Gladio, if only for that sturdy comfort. Even if he'd be teased, even if it'd been over nothing. He knew Gladio would much rather be there when it didn't matter than not be there when it did. 

_My heart's not free, and so I must hide_

Was it any secret he loved them? And yet he was promised. Not to a childhood friend, but to the Gods themselves. Not to someone he'd written letters to in secret, even from them, but to a sword he could not be protected from, not even by them. 

_Please don't ask me what I'm gonna say to you_

He couldn't answer him, when Iggy had asked so gently, "Noct? What is it?" 

He'd barely gotten out a dismissive, "ah, it's nothin'" when he'd almost had the courage that night on the rooftop with Prom. 

He didn't have the grip on himself to even blurt it out, even as Gladio all but cradled him so long ago, trying to soothe him after being so spooked. 

And he most certainly couldn't say it now, the three of them looking directly at his strained expression. 

_I toss and turn, can't sleep at night, It's worrying me_

He'd always been shit at lying to Iggy. He knew he could see it, even if he couldn't quite piece together what the little signs Noct couldn't hide from him meant. 

_I go to bed, turn out the light, but your face I see_

And he couldn't ignore the growing concern Prompto hid from him, hid from them all. 

_It only hurts the more I pretend that we could ever be more than friends_

And he knew it was stupid. Knew it would never happen. They had duties. To him, to the Gods, to the future. And he wouldn't pretend to mistake the protectiveness for anything more than that. That and friendship.

He knew it wouldn't happen. Prayed they wouldn't put it all together. Again and again the worries and nightmares of their questions haunted him. 

**_Please don't ask me, why I'm so in love with you_ **

He couldn't answer that. The sky was blue, gravity pulled toward the ground, and Noctis loved his retainers. 

_You could easily make me happy, that I know_

And to him, so far as he told himself, it didn't matter. It was enough that he could get Iggy to crack a smile, Prompto's eyes to light up, Gladio to let his guard down every once in awhile. Nevermind the butterflies. 

_But I try my best to never tell you so_

And he'd honestly rather die than see it. Ignis grow even more careful as to properly distance himself from Noct's feelings. Prompto grow more awkward, not wanting to lead him on or anything. Gladio grow guarded with the way they just were. He couldn't live with that. 

_I will sing to you my love songs, and pretend_

They need never know how truly special his demeanor, his laxness with them was. Even it that, too, was a lie. 

_Please don't ask me why I'm not talking, I just can't explain_

And yet here they were, standing around a dying fire, under the light of billions or burning, judgemental stars. 

_And please don't ask me, why I go walking out in the rain_

Trying to understand his deeper moodiness, the greater shift in him than they could understand or have expected, having known him so well so long. 

_I could not live the lie it would take to have you here, would be a mistake_

Because, in truth? He couldn't do it even if his love were requited. He couldn't hurt them like that, in the end. He couldn't withhold himself for the image. Couldn't watch them do it, either. 

**_Please don't ask me, why I'm so in love with you_ **

Even though it hurts so much. Even with how impossible it seems. Because he _could_ explain it. Every detail and moment that lead up to his heartbreak, and every solemnly devoted moment thereafter. 

But if he did, then the hurt would only grow... 

_No please don't ask me--_


End file.
